Friday, June 28, 2013

I marked my territory

I think this post may be a testament of my complete lack of dignity. It flew out the window the moment I had kids. While I should be thoroughly embarrassed (and somehow I'm not) by this story, it is one I hope my kids can read and laugh at. Even if they don't - I will.
And so it begins...
On our recent vacation to visit family in Idaho and Utah, Dave and I capitalized on having willing babysitters. My parents watched our boys while we attended the temple together. It was wonderful. We even got to take Ben (my youngest brother) with us. The session was relatively small and was a delightful experience.
Before starting, I quickly used the restroom. (And I thought my bladder was shot after one baby, was sure two had maxed it out, and after three was certain it couldn't get any worse....wrong!). When I stepped into the bathroom I slipped on the floor. I didn't actually fall, but my slip was a big one. I looked around to see if anyone else was having the same kind of problems and that the floors were to blame. It didn't appear so. I continued on my way and through the next couple of hours.
When it was all over, Dave and I walked out arm in arm together, and down the big staircase where we would split and go to our respective locker rooms. The staircase was very wide with many steps but they were quite shallow; just a few inches each. On the third from the bottom step the carpet turned to ice. I didn't misstep, I didn't trip, I didn't do anything I hadn't done on the previous 20, but somehow my feet had absolutely gone out from under me. Try as I may, I could not get my footing, and down I went. Dave bore the majority of my weight (poor soul!!), alas, I landed square on my bum at the bottom of the stairs. It was a soft landing, nothing hurt but that didn't seem to matter to the poor temple worker standing nearby.
"OOOOOOHHHHH! Are you hurt?!?!?!? I think you broke your leg! It looks like your broke it! OH OH OH are you ok?!?!?"
No matter how many times I tried to explain to the woman that I was 100% a-ok, she was not convinced. Apparently one of my legs looked awkward, but I think it was the way my dress draped it more than anything. It continued...
"OOOOHHH you poor soul! Are you SURE you are ok??? Do you need anything? Are you ok??"
Yes, it got old.
At this point I didn't know what to do - this lady needed serious convincing. I didn't dare tell her I was 33 weeks pregnant, that would have been a bad idea and with my dress you really couldn't tell. So I did what any normal (crazy) person would do, I hopped up and took a bow. Then I booked it for the locker room. It wasn't because I was embarrassed. It wasn't because I was hurt. It wasn't because the baby was hurt (remember my knight in shining armor who caught most of my fall). It was solely because I had peed on the carpet. Yes, you read that right. Landing square on my bum was enough to burst the dam. I hiccuped and peed the other day - this circumstance was doomsday. It wasn't a big spot, but that was the carpet... I was another story.
With the slipping and falling, all I could conclude was that my slippers were too "dirty" and needed a good washing. I have had the thought wash them for the past 6 months now but kept forgetting. When I got back to my parents house I washed everything I was wearing....but forgot to throw in the slippers.

1 comment:

Shawn AND Chelsey said...

ha! oh melanie that is hilarious!!! pregnancy really pulls a number on our bodies, huh!!? that is for sure a story that will be funny to look back on and read! and i loved how you handled the situation!! so funny!