Is what Drake calls Carson. I wanted to document it because it's so stinkin' cute and I don't want to forget. And, in the last few weeks Carson and Drake have begun to play really well with each other. So fun.
I don't really know what to say. I just had the desire to get on here and write; it's therapeutic for me. Three Children. Where do I begin? Three is not ACTUALLY as hard as I thought it was going to be. Well, maybe it is? I don't know. I had just prepared myself for wanting to melt down every day and not getting ANYTHING done. Don't get me wrong, sometimes those things happen, but for the most part I can deal. Right now I have a permanent headache and am sweaty and dirty all the time, but I think everything else is going ok. I have had a lot of help these last three weeks and it has been most appreciated. I did find though, the longer I had help, the more I wanted to be on my own to really tackle life. Carson is very sweet as usual. I don't ever have to worry about him getting jealous or trying to hurt the baby, or being too rough, or anything like that. He transitioned well with Drake, and is proving to be even better, and a bigger help with Brooks. He is such a delight. Drake has surprised me. I thought he would have some problems welcoming a new baby into our home but he hasn't. He loves to lay on his tummy right by Brooks and talk to him all the while repeatedly touching foreheads or cheeks as a sign of affection. He says the same few things over and over again, "Hiiiiiii" (in the sweetest, highest little voice), "How ya doin'?" "Wook!" (he tries to show the baby various toys), "See Him" (when he wants to look at the baby). The only thing I have keep an eye on is the amount of weight Drake puts on Brooks when touching foreheads and cheeks. Brooks continues to be a very good, sweet baby. He has his moments for sure (which he didn't until recently...he was THAT good), but I always know what the fussing is for. He never throws a fit JUST to do so. He doesn't like to be tired, REALLY doesn't like to be cold, and doesn't like to be hungry. He will demand those things when he wants them, and often likes to be held, but he still allows me to really enjoy him and ease through this transition better than another baby might. He lost his belly button on my birthday; what a thoughtful baby :). His initial dry skin is pretty well gone. He has curly hair, but is so oily that you can't tell unless he is in the bathtub (it's even curly in the water) or fresh out. His hair is still dark, I wonder if it will stay that way. I would love it. He has a pretty awesome case of baby acne. He continues to nurse pretty well. He seems to be growing rapidly. He likes the attention from his brothers. We really love our new addition. One of my favorite things about a newborn is the spirit they bring into our home. It is such a reminder of the goodness of God. It's a powerful feeling and I am so grateful for the precious little souls. Children are such a blessing. I also thank my lucky stars for the ability to have them. I know it is also an enormous blessing to be able to bear children when I would like, and to be healthy. I am keenly aware that not all share this particular gift. My heart goes out to them. Dave and I are so excited about each of our three sons and look forward to the years ahead. It's amazing how much each of our children multiplies the joy in our lives. We thought we had it good when we got married, but Carson, Drake, and Brooks fill our hearts beyond capacity. All four of my boys really are the "things that matter most".
The last couple of months or so Carson has been talking like Drake. Carson (when talking like Carson) speaks very well. When he imitates Drake, it makes Drake mad, and quite frankly, it drives me nuts too. "I want to play with the Yegos," he said this morning. "Say it right, please," I asked. "Yegos" "Carson" I warned. Then he mouthed it. Yegos...not Legos. "Carson, you need to talk properly so Drake and Brooks can learn how to talk right." I was then given a look you might imagine from an attitude-y teenage girl. One eyebrow raised, cocked head, eyes that say "whatever". "Brooks doesn't talk. All he does is poop, pee, and cry."
Woah! Why didn't anyone tell me having three children is B.U.S.Y. and mucho, grande, very much, a lot harder than having two!?!?! Just kidding :). That is all I heard from people and they are right! We adore baby Brooks though and couldn't have asked for a sweeter baby to make this transition with. My mom has been helping for the past week and will be here for a couple more days, then I am on my own. Should be interesting. Something will have to give, and I am thinking it's going to be even more sleep, and my clean house. Here is what we have learned of ourselves and Brooks in the last ten days: -Brooks is VERY good. He hardly cries. Seriously. It's only if he is cold, he doesn't even really cry when he is hungry or tired. -He has a clogged tear duct...woohoo. Carson had them for a year and I really hope Brooks' don't last that long. While painless...it's a pain. -Pooping and peeing are what Brooks does best. His systems are all workin' mighty fine. -Brooks weighed 8 lbs 5 oz five days after birth. -I have Mastitis...can I get another "woohoo"? - I had a "tail" as I call it. I had something on the outside that was supposed to be on the inside and it hurt terribly. After a few calls, a lot of pain, and some close monitoring, I have now been snipped, and resewed. I guess I should mention that I tore. I always tear, and I never feel it because all I can think at the time is "Hallelujah, contractions are over!". - Other than Mastitis, I feel REALLY good. My recovery has been awesome. - Carson and Drake are both incredibly sweet older brothers. I am very pleased with how they have done so far. -Dave continues to be the best husband and father imaginable. -Brooks does not like to be cold. -I know I have said it before, but Brooks is really a very sweet baby. My mom keeps mentioning it, and she had 5 kids of her own and has helped with all 4 grandbabies so far. He is really a gentle little soul. - He still has a full head of dark, curly-ish hair. -Brooks knows day is day and night is night but won't go for more than three hours sleeping. We. Are. Tired. - Brooks nurses SUPER fast. - We LOVE our new little addition. He is such a blessing.
Wednesday, June, 1st I had a doctors appointment which I mentioned in my previous post. I was encouraged as I left there hoping the doctor was actually right; that I would deliver before the week was out. I continued my day as normal; took care of my beautiful boys, cleaned house, prepared dinner, etc. That evening Dave and I got the boys in bed and cleaned up. All the while I continued to have more of the same contractions I had been experiencing for just over a day by then. I decided I would rather get a good nights rest again than have a baby at that very moment. I laid down at about 8:00 expecting them to slow as they had the evening before. By 9:00 I recognized that they weren't slowing, but weren't any worse either. At around 10:00 Dave started to time my contractions as they seemed to be getting closer together and intensifying somewhat. I decided to hop into the tub to relax and REALLY test myself. If the contractions eased--false alarm. Just the process of getting myself into the bath gave me a whole slew of contractions all on top of each other. With this new information, Dave started making some calls. He dialed our doctor, babysitter, doula, and famililes and put them all on red alert. In between the time that I hopped (or rather lumbered and rolled) into the tub, and the doula arriving, I was able to relax quite a bit, and my contractions were much more bearable in the warm, soothing water. I started saying to Dave, "what if this isn't it?! I will be SO embarrassed if this is a false alarm. My mentality was, at this point I still felt pretty stinkin' good. Yeah, the contractions were a bit painful, but this was nothing like I had known. Labor as I knew it was miserable and immediate contractions starting at two minutes apart and very, very painful. The after hours doctor who would be in contact with my OB even said, "well, if your pattern keeps up for another hour, you should probably head into the hospital and I will let your doctor know." ...back to the great white whale swimming in the bathtub... Between 10:30 and 11:00 our doula showed up. Dave and I decided when she did we would head in. I managed to heft myself out of the tub, put a few clothing items on, say thanks to our babysitter (who lives next door so came right on over when we gave the word), and get in the car. My contractions were now regular and strong. I knew this was the big show. We showed up at the hospital sometime around 11:30 and they hooked me up for monitoring right away. I was currently at 5 cm and after just two contractions they took me off the monitor to transfer me to the delivery room because they were convinced I was actually in labor...they never seem to believe me. I was a little deflated at "only" being a 5 since the harder half of labor was still to come. Or at least in my history I still had a while left and a whole lotta pain to go. Once in the delivery room they put the Hep Lock in while I labored on the birthing ball/hunched over the end of the bed. While the nurse was attending to me we had a conversation that kinda freaked me out. "Let me know when you start to feel pressure and we will call the doctor and tell her to come in," she said. "It doesn't take me that long to push out the baby," I said. "By the time she gets here it will be too late! You need to call her when I am like an 8." "Well, we have an on call doctor if we need," she replied. I kept thinking how by the time she would be called Dave would be the one delivering the baby. I got in the shower as soon as they let me. I was in there for no more than 1o or so minutes when I felt a big hiccup from the baby; or what felt like one. I knew my water had broken. The nurse checked me again and told me I was at an 8...wait...what? An 8?!?! There was no way, labor hadn't been TOO bad and we had only gotten then a half an hour ago. "I could kiss you! Call the doctor!" I blurted out. This was great news. I wanted to continue laboring in the shower but upon seeing blood my doula encouraged me to get back on the bed and ready to go because we were close. She was right. But this was when it got really hard. Now that the pain was no longer dispersed and cushioned by my waters, it hurt. Bad. Again. I was having a hard time doing the interval breathing (ask me about it and I'll tell you), and wasn't out of control, but didn't think I would be able to last much longer...then I felt the bearing down and urge to push. What a relief! "I need to push!" I moaned/demanded. "Don't." Was the reply I got. "I can't help it; I have to!"...and so I did. I heard them rapidly getting the on call doctor in the room and was relieved when I saw him walk in. As I recall from labor with Carson and Drake all I could feel was to push at this point. I didn't really feel any pain, I really only felt to push and push hard, and enjoy it. This was different; it hurt. I felt the bearing down, but not near to the extent I was used to. Why would I though? Everything else about this pregnancy, labor and delivery was so far different. The pain was bad and the only way to alleviate it was to push with all I had. I pushed through two contractions with him in the room, all the while asking and begging for some affirmation they could see the baby coming. With just two short contractions remaining, I heard my chipper doctor walk into the room and quickly put her gloves on. A couple minutes later, Brooks was born at exactly 1:00 am pn June 2nd. The cord was wrapped all around his torso and is believed to be the reason he didn't descend thus putting me into labor sooner. Fortunately, while it was over each shoulder and had him strapped up like a skydiver, it was not around his neck at all. They immediately put him on my chest. He was warm, slimy, covered in blood and white goop, and was so perfect I could hardly stand it. He cried like a champion immediately. It was magical. He weighed 7 lbs 14 ounces and was 21.5 inches long. He has a full head of dark hair and looks very much like a Crockett boy. I tore, but not too bad. (I don't even feel it when I do...all I know is it's over!!). I pushed for about 10 minutes total. I did a couple of unorthodox things that have worked out really well for me. 1- I went without meds (I've done this before but since it's not as "normal" I figured I'd list it) 2 - I had them leave the cord unclamped for a number of minutes. I wanted the baby to get as much blood volume as possible. 3 - I refused Pitocin after birth. This one was the biggest "fight" but I am REALLY glad I did it. My uterus did exactly what it was supposed to all by itself, in fact, it shrunk/is shrinking so quickly each person that pushed on it made some sort of comment. Because of this, my after labor contractions haven't been nearly as painful. It is supposed to get worse with each child, but because of the Pitocin with my previous labors this time has been the least painful. All in all this was my easiest labor. By far. It is always a miracle. I am grateful for all the love and support shown. Brooks is a wonderful and beautiful. He is certainly meant to be in our home and we could not be more happy he is here.
Too bad I won't actually have a baby today... or if I did I would be shocked. Everything about this pregnancy has been different. Looks like labor and delivery are following suit.
Here is my history:
Carson - water broke at 5:00 pm on December 23rd. Contractions started at 7:00 pm at 2 minutes apart. He was born at 1:03 am December 24th. Born at 36 weeks 6 days. I started dilated to a whopping nothing.
Drake - contractions started at 2 minutes apart at 6:00 am. He was born at 3:57 pm on August 31st. Born at 39 weeks. I started dilated to a 1.5(and the doctor was being generous).
Now, I am 40 weeks pregnant. I started having contractions a few days ago, but yesterday they were anywhere from 5-2o minutes apart. They have been painful, but I am not in labor. Frankly, it just doesn't hurt enough often enough. I had a doctor's appointment today. I have been toying with the idea of having her break my water. I labored with Carson without it, and while it hurts like the dickens (the dickens being something I can't even describe because it's so awful), I know I can do it. Too bad she told me it's all or nothing. She won't just break my water, she would have to schedule and induction with Pitocin and all, and I won't do that. I have always been proud of my "head". It was what helped me excel in sports, and endure a number of difficult things in my life. I have mental toughness and some serious tenacity. I like to challenge myself and overcome. If I put my mind to it...it will happen. This past week has really challenged me. It has been VERY mentally trying for a number of reasons. I don't really want to go into all of them. I have been wavering. With all of this, it was SUCH a boost today to hear that I am dilated to a four!!!!! I was THRILLED to hear that. It refueled me. I have never made it to a four without some serious laboring before. 5 days ago, I was at: -One centimeter dilated -40% effaced - minus two
Today, I was at: -Four centimeters dilated (I was actually 3-4 but I have had enough painful contractions since, I am confident I am now to a 4) -60% effaced -minus one
The doctor told me, "I am not just saying this (which we have learned already from my previous appointment and post; she says it how it is), but I will be floored, shocked, utterly surprised if you are pregnant past Saturday. With the way your cervix feels, I really think you are very close." In fact she left by saying, "See you in a day or two."
I REALLY hope she is right. Otherwise, my psyche will need another boost. Wish me luck.