The Poopetrator

I was getting ready for church this fine Sunday morning when I ushered the boys upstairs to get ready along with me. I would hear running, giggling, slamming, and the usual mayhem and madness. It all died down a bit and lasted more than a mere 10 seconds so I thought I would check it out. I found the busy trio huddled in the bathroom. Carson on the toilet and Drake and Brooks offering encouragement.
Having seen this a thousand times before, I went back to my bedroom to continue what I was doing. A few short minutes later I heard words that made me cringe, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOM! My toothbrush fell in the toilet." Quickly I started racking my brain, had I heard the toilet flush? Had I not? Was that the sink?
I stopped what I was doing and went to assess the damage. As it turned out, Carson had suctioned his toothbrush to the toilet seat. (Carson and Drake have these light up toothbrushes that we just bought last week no less, that have suction cups on the bottom of them so they can stand upright to dry.) As if that wasn't gross enough, he had somehow knocked the toothbrush into the toilet, and there it stuck, bristles down, in a big, brown turd.
There was no way I was touching the thing. I made Carson fish it out and throw it in his sink. I will leave out a few of the hithertos and wherefores and suffice it to say that after soap and water, bleach, and a run through the dishwasher, Carson did in fact brush his teeth with said toothbrush after lunch. Had it not been for the fact that we threw all extra toothbrushes away the week before when we got the new light up ones, I would have burned the vile thing on the spot. I am a mom of boys.

Update on the preschool "issue"

So I talked with the teacher the next preschool day to see where we stood in the whole ordeal. Basically, Carson gets off the hook because he is in preschool. If he were in Elementary school, the record would follow him through.
I haven't been sure how to handle the whole thing with him, but I have talked to him a couple of times in very mild ways, all the time trying to assure him that some people just get scared easy so we have to be really careful what we do or say (even if its not wrong) so it doesn't frighten them. After the second time (these talks are literally 30 seconds long) he said, "I know mom", in such a way, that I knew he really truly got it. And that he didn't want to talk about it again. I just want to hug the awesome little guy.
To make sure he internalized it, we had him teach the FHE lesson to Drake this last week about how we should or shouldn't act in public. Some of the issues we've had that we made sure were addressed were:
Commenting on someones looks
Commenting on they way someone talks
Staring at people
Pretending to shoot people between the aisles at the store
Words we probably shouldn't say in public (shoot, kill, stab, etc.)
Helping someone in need
I am sure you get the idea. He did great and hopefully Drake understood some of it too. He opens his mouth a little too readily sometimes. Then we followed all up with a really yummy treat so we could always remember to be "sweet" :).
I have such good little boys.

She'll never let me come visit teach again...

I am kidding about not going to visit teach again; the whole family is awesome but that doesn't change the fact that Drake just pooped all over their floor...in a big way.
I think he peed into the toilet while launching it out the back. It was stinky, and it was A LOT. Never mind the fact that he has never actually pooped on the floor before (without being horribly ill). Oh, well. I guess I just marked another one off my mom-bucket-list-of-no-choice.

My Child - The Documented Offender

I am ticked. Honestly, I feel blind with fury. I am hoping to vent here. Maybe feel a little better. Maybe reason through some of this. If you are looking for rainbows and sunshine today you should find another blog.
I went to pick Carson up from preschool today. When I entered the room one of the teachers quietly asked me to stay after because she needed to talk to me.
When most everyone was gone she prefaced things with, "This really isn't a big deal, and I have already talked to Carson, but he drew something that "offended" someone." My stomach was immediately puddled in my feet. I wouldn't think Carson would do something to render him a school district offender but obviously this was serious. The teacher briefly showed me photocopied  mural Carson had drawn for another little girl in the class. Here it is in detail:
There was a large boat, a pirate ship with multiple characters. Over on the left, there were two stick figures. Over on the right, there were pirates. They had bandanas, furrowed brows, and swords. Over one of their heads was either a thought bubble, or word bubble (couldn't tell) that said, "Kill Jane" (I have changed the girls name).
I honestly couldn't figure out what the problem was. The teacher then explained the picture to me. Carson and "Jane" were on the left, and he was trying to save her from the pirates who wanted to "kill Jane". I was STILL confused at this point. Maybe I am dense, but I didn't see any problem with the picture. The teacher then pointed out the bubble and said, "this is the problem". She couldn't even tell me why it was a problem. All she said over and over again was that it was what "offended" Jane's mom so badly.
Jane's mom had freaked out, photocopied the photo and brought it to the attention of the school. She couldn't even explain why she was offended; she just was. She had also instructed her little girl to tell Carson not to draw her any pictures anymore because they are bad (Jane and Carson have been exchanging MANY pictures all school year). Frankly, I am relieved. I don't want Carson to have anything to do with the girl because obviously her mother doesn't have enough to do and is easily excitable, thus resulting in the current situation. As a result, she is picking on my child and I am ready to attack. I know that is not the Christ-like response, but this mother bear is seething.
I understand bad things have happened in the world. And I understand bad things have happened here in CO. I also feel like people get attention for drama. I think morals, perspectives and people are screwed up. Unfortunately, if a five-year-old writes the word "kill" on behalf of a pirate he is trying to save his friend from (oh, and by the way, he told me he only wrote "kill" because "throw Jane in the water" wouldn't fit in the bubble), he is a menace to society. However, kids/people in general copulating all over schools is ok, even encouraged. I don't get it.
Now I have to make sure he doesn't even tie his shoes wrong. Grrrrr.
I know what the answer is. Accessing it for me seems far reaching right now, but the only way to change and heal is through the Atonement. I know the anger I am feeling is not God-given. Guess I better start praying like life depends on it because in truth - it does.

I laughed so hard I cried most of my make-up off

I had to repost this picture. It is so terrible - I can't get enough of it! Clearly, they get their looks from me :)

Chugga Chugga Choo Choo!

Last weekend we went the the Railroad Museum. We all had a lot of fun.

Hormones...nuff said

Back in late summer/early fall I was having thyroid issues; or so I thought. I am no doctor, but suddenly I was losing my hair again, my energy level had sunk through the floor despite the ample sleep I was getting, and I was having a hard time keeping weight on despite the exorbitant amounts I was eating. Then, as icing on the cake I had a rogue period ten days after completing a cycle. I called my doctor at that point to schedule a check-up. Per our conversation on the phone she seemed to think Thyroid issues were a definite possibility especially since they are so prevalent in my family. By the time I got to my well woman check up (6 weeks later), my symptoms shifted a bit. I was now extremely tired, nausea had hit me like a mack truck, and I had some major food and smell aversions. I had also quit losing my hair and in fact, it seemed to be growing quite well, along with my nails. Probably the biggest indicator though was the positive pregnancy test I had gotten a couple of weeks earlier. Yes, I am pregnant and we are thrilled.
We had been "trying" since mid summer and nothing was happening (another reason I was suspicious of thyroid problems since we had gotten pregnant so quickly every other time). Despite wanting another baby, I felt so calm and assured. The whole process has been peaceful. I am pretty sure that "rogue period" was a shift in my hormones and that I was indeed having issues that somehow righted them self. I do think permanent Thyroid endeavors are in my future, at least that is what genetics tell me, but for now it wasn't a big deal. I think Heavenly Father simply has a specific plan and timeline. He made that clear through a series of small miracles and "coincidences" over the past 8 months.
I am currently 15 1/2 weeks and "due" August 11th (the date isn't concrete because of the uncertainty of what my body was doing). I feel like I am showing a lot sooner than my previous pregnancies. And lastly, my goal is to put on 40 pounds or less. We shall see...

My Valentines

I have four wonderful Valentines whom I love to spoil and love to spoil me. We had a delightful Valentines Day. To top it off my big Valentine made me a PERFECT dinner:
Expertly cooked Salmon
Spinach Salad with a lite Raspberry Vinaigrette
Quinoa
Strawberries
All accompanied by some beautiful flowers
I definitely ate myself sick and I am pretty sure I would do the exact same thing again.

Boys Will Be Boys

*Warning, this post is not for the faint of heart. If boogers or snot make you queasy (like me), stop here :).

We have been really sick at our house. All of us got the flu (or something like it), around Christmas time and it is truly the sickest I  have been over a period of 14 days. I also had a strange variety of strep throat which came after a blood draw and lab tests five days earlier. All that aside. Drake has continued to have a tiny cough or a minor runny nose or something of the sort since then.
He I and were doing school on Monday morning when I went to deal with a particular goobery nostril he had had for a few days. It was the left one, and it ALWAYS had thick green boogers, and crusty stuff coating the entire rim of his nostril and he would sniff incessantly.
"Come on, buddy! Blow Hard!" I cheered as I had a wadded up tissue squished against his nose for the umpteenth time. Three big blows later something dislodged. This was no ordinary booger. This was huge, and hard! Since I already struggle with anything of the snot variety, I had a hard time getting the gumption up to examine the thick green contents of the kleenex. When I pulled the tissue back from his face however, there stuck to the collar of his shirt was a greenish/brown, enormous, shiny, crusty booger. At this point I was literally swallowing vomit down as I tried to be a mature adult and handle the situation. Ever so tenderly with as much tissue between my fingers and the culprit as I could manage I un-stuck the nasty thing from his collar realizing it was in fact a large popcorn kernel.
"Drake!" I gasp. "When did you put that in your nose?!"
"At Family Movie Night!" he tells me amid hysterical laughing.
Family movie night was four day prior...
No wonder his little nostril was wigging out. That thing must have been nigh unto his brain for how many times we had him blow his nose over the course of those four days.
I spent the rest of the morning nearly sick to my stomach while Drake spent it randomly chuckling after his initial fit of laughter subsided.

New Year = Changes

Carson had the most wonderful primary teacher last year. His name was Josh Lyman and his little family just moved to Texas. Boo. Fortunately, he LOVES his classmates, and his new teachers are consistent and prepared. It will be a good year for him. It is still so strange to me that I have a 5 year old!
Drake enjoyed his first day as a Sunbeam. He was SO ready to go. He has been asking me since September when he could go to primary. The answer was always, "after Christmas". Today whenever anyone asked him about being excited to go to sunbeams he would automatically shout, "AFTER CHRISTMAS!!!!" and jump up and down. (Then, I would have to explain to everyone what on earth he was talking about since they had no clue and he was obviously very animated about something or other...) His teachers will also be fabulous. They have somewhere around 40 grandkids! How could they be anything but perfect?!
I should also mention that Brooks is in nursery and has been for a month. He doesn't seem to notice he his being dropped off, and doesn't really react when he is picked up either. He just goes with the flow and loves playing with all the "new" toys. It is SOOOOOOOOOOO nice to get a break in church. Of the three boys he has been the most difficult to take to class with us and we usually ended up walking the halls with him. We were ready to pawn him off enjoy the 2nd and 3rd hours at church.
As for me. I  was just released from Young Womens. I have been there for over 2.5 years and while I know it wasn't terribly long, it was a year and a half longer than I had held any other calling, and it was demanding. I have a new calling but haven't been sustained yet, so I will stick around and help out till I am either replaced in YW, or sustained in ...:). The changes are very bittersweet for me. I will miss the wonderful YW and leaders I worked with, but I am relieved to be done. It was pressure trying to balance Dave's and my calling. His requires multiples days/nights a week, as did mine. Finding time for each other was difficult.
Dave is still cheerfully plugging away in the bishopric. Now that church isn't till 1:00, he doesn't have meetings till 9:00 am. (As opposed to 8:00 when church was at 11:00.) I know it's only an hour, but it was DIVINE having him around for an extra hour this morning, even if he won't get home till 5:30. I might be the only one in the whole church, but I think I am going to like the late shift at church!